Depression and Fear

I read shit like this, and I know deep in my soul that that is exactly why I do not do drugs. If I were to ever kill myself (yes, the debate is still on, I guess, as to whether or not DJAM committed suicide), that is how I would do it. Lots of drugs and then just fall asleep.

I wont do it, because of many reasons. Mostly fear. And my cat.

There are days when Im so depressed that I can barely function. Today was one of those days, and I can just feel that tomorrow will be more of the same. I read that article this morning, and of course, being how I am, I couldnt get it out of my head all day at work.

But yeah. I dont know what to do with myself tonight, so I decided to ramble in the blog. I have zero motivation for anything; it was such a struggle at work to accomplish anything, but I did.

Im not entirely sure how Im going to snap myself out of this funk. There is just too much change going on at work. The mood has shifted. I dont like it at all. More friends are leaving my life, due to some bizarre circumstances. Im struggling to come up with a plan for the rest of my life, and I know that my time at this job is coming to a close soon (in the next few years), and I have to be ready to move on. But Im not ready to move on, and I dont really want to, either.

Okay. No one wants to read this shit.