Memories

I have been thinking off and on lately about memories. Not anything specific. Just about memory in general. Mostly the fact that I forget things ... a lot. The brain is a mysterious creature--mine especially. I guess what boggles me is that I can remember storylines, characters, plots everything from Days of Our Lives from when I started watching in 1996 and things that happened from before then about which I have read. But I forget things that happen in my real life very easily.

I have a tendency to ask people the same question multiple times, each time forgetting that I have asked before and that I know the answer. I forget telling people that I will do things for them. I forget things that I have done. One of my friends teases me and says that I must have blacked out.

I was flipping through old lab notebooks looking for a piece of data that I knew that I had, but I came across old experiments that I had done that I have no memory of doing. Some of them, I was planning to do this week, because I needed to get them done. Just today, I got an email from another friend with whom I had fallen out of touch reminding me that I had told him of the existence of this blog, because I had told him I was surprised when he emailed me yesterday out of the blue commenting about the blog.

Sure it is amusing at times. But other times, it is really frightening. What in my brain is misfiring that completely erases things? I have had times during my commute when I have absolutely no memory of driving, but I am in my car, so I must have driven. But my location and elapsed time in my mind do not jive with one another. But I must have driven my commute; I just have no memory of doing it.

Often times at work, I will think of something that I need to do or something I need to get from another room. I will get there, but have no idea what I was thinking I needed to do or needed to get. So, I go back to my desk and try to figure out what I was thinking. Sometimes I figure it out, but sometimes I dont.

Anyway, it is just one of the oddities of being, Ephram. I suppose.

Sometimes I joke about having a brain tumor. But part of me doesnt think that it is a joke, and I become really concerned: what if I really do have a brain tumor? Honestly, I think it may just be wishful thinking. It would be an easy fix. The tumor causes my mood swings and my depression. The tumor is why I get headaches and have issues remembering things. But really, it is probably my mental problems that are envisioning a tumor to avoid trying to actually fix things that are wrong with me. I cant help it; I have a tumor. Sure! Go lay in a ball on the couch and feel numb. That will solve all the problems.

So, yeah. That is todays thing. And so what? Yeah. Im out.